Ghettogolf: LaTourette GC, Staten Island

Once upon a time I set out with a dream. A dream of Playing Every Last God-Forsaken Golf Course in New York City.

I know, the LGNYCGT (Legitimategolf New York City Golf Tour) has been stalled for a long-ass time. Who are we kidding, it's been lying broke down on the side of the road, rusting. What can I say? The part of me that at one time longed to seek out golf adventures all over the five boroughs has, you know, shriveled up and died or whatever.

But what do you know, last Masters Sunday the old bus was up and running again, and even if it's by happenstance (i.e. the only place I could find a decent tee-time), we are now back en route to Playing Every Last God-Forsaken Course In New York City!!!

Ghetto Golf, volume 11: Douglaston Park Golf Course, Queens

[This edition of Ghetto Golf was plucked out of the earth a couple weeks ago and stored on a shelf so that it could be enjoyed during these barren times.]

The latest stop on the Legitimategolf New York City Golf Tour takes us out near city limits once again, way out to the neighborhood of Douglaston, Queens. I was hereabouts not that long ago, whacking balls and checking out the instant noodle selection at the Alley Pond practice range. Douglaston Park GC is like Alley Pond in that the Korean flag has been pretty much planted here--this is K-town golf territory now.

2013 Legitimategolf Awards

It's time now to look back on the year that was 2013. The popular or media-savvy thing might be to get retrospective in the last weeks of December, but my thing is, why not let the year play out entirely, then make our piddling assessments of what went down, through the clarifying lens of hindsight? is what I say. Also I was just busy.

Ghetto Golf vol 9: Kissena Park GC, Flushing, Queens

The clubhouse--very much the standard-issue NYC parks institutional style.

We're well into December and yet, the Legitimategolf NYC Golf Tour rolls on. Believe it!

Q: What do you think of Flushing, Queens?

A: I think it's a great idea.

[From a joke book I read when I was nine.]

Kissena Park is way out east in deep Queens, just past the much more well-known Flushing Meadows Park, which is known to most people as the home of the tennis US Open, the New York Mets and the 1964 World's Fair. If you're anything like me you're probably wondering what the hell is a "kissena"?

Ghetto Golf, vol. 8: Pelham Bay GC, Bronx

Located way, way up in the northeast Bronx, Pelham Bay is perhaps the most remote, far-flung course within the New York City golf matrix.

Dark Thoughts, volume 1

For most of us, the golf season is winding down. The auspices, mounting for weeks, can no longer be ignored, even by the most optimistic among us.

Ghetto Golf, vol. 7: Silver Lake GC, Staten Island

Bye, home. See you in a few.

I've been in New York City for over a decade; I've been a NYC golfer since 2005. Yet in all that time, like a lot of Manhattanites, I've never set foot on the island known as Staten; never had a reason to. (After a while this becomes a weird, snobbish point of pride--never been there, never will!) Despite what the NYC transit map inaccurately depicts, it's not that close to Manhattan, and then there's that forbidding $13 toll charge if you want to cross the Verrazano Bridge by car.

But last week after the Brooklyn Open had finished, I was waiting at the bus stop in front of Marine Park when a tournament volunteer saw my clubs and struck up a conversation. He asked if I had ever played in Staten Island, and sang the praises of one of the courses there, Silver Lake. What's more, he claimed, getting there by ferry from either Brooklyn or Manhattan was quick and easy, even more so than the trip to Marine Park which, let's face it, is closer to the Atlantic Ocean than to actual New York City proper. Even for a lot of Brooklynites on the opposite edge of town, the trip to MPGC is forbiddingly long.

Ghetto Golf vol. 6: Rockaway Beach, Queens

"It's not far, not hard to reach/We can hitch a ride to Rockaway Beach"
-The Ramones, "Rockaway Beach"

It's been often said (by me) that New York City is an absolute wasteland for golfers. That's true in a relative sense--compared with most other major metropoles, golf here is too expensive, too crowded and too often characterized by general anarchy. Which is especially disheartening in a city that's constantly claiming to be the greatest.

But it wouldn't be quite fair of me to call it total desolation. The truth is there's a surprising number of golf-purposed facilities in the area, even beyond the known courses.

Ghetto Golf, volume 5: Van Cortlandt Park GC, The Bronx

This week, the LGNYCGT (Legitimategolf New York City Golf Tour) rolled into the oldest freakin' public course in North America, Van Cortlandt Park GC in northwest Bronx. Let's think about that. All the slow play, rules-flouting, all the terrible hacky muni golf we've all come to know and love... it all began here. Wow--humbling.

Creeps of the Week

The first two Legitimate Golf Creep of the Week awards recognized some high-profile douchebaggery. But this week, we train the spotlight on the ordinary folks, the unsung jerks who make golf so miserable at the local level, in our own day-to-day lives.

As part of the LGNYCGT ("Legitimate Golf New York City Golf Tour"), I found myself in the Bronx the other day. A full-write up of the excursion is coming soon but for now I wanted to quickly vent about some of the foul people I had the misfortune of crossing paths with. Originally I thought of just posting this away on some safe, obscure little corner of the internet.

But screw that--I have been working hard to build up this bully pulpit and dammit, why shouldn't I use it to lash out at the people who make me (and all other reasonable people) mad?