2013 Season End Report: Assholes' Last Stand

Well, that looks to be it for 2013 golf. I got in one last hurrah at Dyker Beach, a beleaguered, bitterly cold round in which forces of evil and ignorance repeatedly tried to come at me and derail my fun. A round beset with lunatics, rude foreigners and slow players.

2013 Season End Watch part IV: counting down the seconds

I managed to get in another 18 this weekend, this time at Dyker Beach. The weather was borderline nice, which made me waffle over the matter about a hundred times before finally giving in.

Since there was (naturally) a lot of people at the course,  I was placed in a foursome which was a little weird for me. Because I'd played most of my golf alone for the last couple of months, it was sort of like a feral child being reintroduced into civilization. They were distant concepts to me, but I was more or less able to recall the etiquette, politeness and small-talk that I had learned in a previous life. Still I managed to step in someone's putting line a couple times.

Dark Thoughts VI: Master of Layers

Previously on Legitimategolf.com, I issued myself a challenge: in these waning moments of the calendar year, try and beat my best score of '13. And now the first attempt is in the books--a 92, 22-over par from the black tees at Silver Lake. I know. Scorewise it is an abject failure. I blew up the round early with an 11 on one hole. Besides that it was a complete success though I suppose.

2013 Season End Watch, part 3

It's probably time to call off this whole season end watch. I went snowboarding in the local NJ mountains this past week; I was riding the chairlift and when I turned around to look back down at the green earth I saw the Great Gorge Country Club sitting just beyond the base of the ski area, all verdant and ready to go. It occurred to me that this winter golf season is going to roll right on into 2014. Not ruling out any future calamities of course but for the foreseeable, cold temperatures are our only adversaries around here.

Dark Thoughts, vol. 5: IT LIVES

Yes, the 2013 New York City golf season lives on. Yes, my worst-case scenarios, various doomsday prep plans and 'Season End Watch' broodings were all way off-base, so what. Cut me some slack Jack.

Early in the week our high temperatures peaked in the low 30s; wind made it feel like low 20s. Our earth was encased in an ugly semi-permafrost consisting of layers of snow, frozen rain, sleet and wet rain that had all melted together and re-frozen over a couple times. It was starting to take on a glassy appearance. Things were looking bleak. Honestly I had even begun to move on mentally. With no golf balls to hit, I tried hitting the gym harder. With no low scores to shoot for, I took to the pavement instead and actually worked on lowering my 3.5-mile times.

Then the weekend came and the whole world changed. Temps in the upper 60s made quick work of all the snowcover and suddenly it was time again to scramble for the good tee-times and grumble about slow play.