Tuesday, December 31, 2013

2013 Season End Report: Assholes' Last Stand

Well, that looks to be it for 2013 golf. I got in one last hurrah at Dyker Beach, a beleaguered, bitterly cold round in which forces of evil and ignorance repeatedly tried to come at me and derail my fun. A round beset with lunatics, rude foreigners and slow players.

Monday, December 30, 2013

2013 Season End Watch part IV: counting down the seconds

I managed to get in another 18 this weekend, this time at Dyker Beach. The weather was borderline nice, which made me waffle over the matter about a hundred times before finally giving in.

Since there was (naturally) a lot of people at the course,  I was placed in a foursome which was a little weird for me. Because I'd played most of my golf alone for the last couple of months, it was sort of like a feral child being reintroduced into civilization. They were distant concepts to me, but I was more or less able to recall the etiquette, politeness and small-talk that I had learned in a previous life. Still I managed to step in someone's putting line a couple times.

Saturday, December 28, 2013

Dark Thoughts VI: Master of Layers

Previously on Legitimategolf.com, I issued myself a challenge: in these waning moments of the calendar year, try and beat my best score of '13. And now the first attempt is in the books--a 92, 22-over par from the black tees at Silver Lake. I know. Scorewise it is an abject failure. I blew up the round early with an 11 on one hole. Besides that it was a complete success though I suppose.

Thursday, December 26, 2013

2013 Season End Watch, part 3

It's probably time to call off this whole season end watch. I went snowboarding in the local NJ mountains this past week; I was riding the chairlift and when I turned around to look back down at the green earth I saw the Great Gorge Country Club sitting just beyond the base of the ski area, all verdant and ready to go. It occurred to me that this winter golf season is going to roll right on into 2014. Not ruling out any future calamities of course but for the foreseeable, cold temperatures are our only adversaries around here.

Sunday, December 22, 2013

Dark Thoughts, vol. 5: IT LIVES

Yes, the 2013 New York City golf season lives on. Yes, my worst-case scenarios, various doomsday prep plans and 'Season End Watch' broodings were all way off-base, so what. Cut me some slack Jack.

Early in the week our high temperatures peaked in the low 30s; wind made it feel like low 20s. Our earth was encased in an ugly semi-permafrost consisting of layers of snow, frozen rain, sleet and wet rain that had all melted together and re-frozen over a couple times. It was starting to take on a glassy appearance. Things were looking bleak. Honestly I had even begun to move on mentally. With no golf balls to hit, I tried hitting the gym harder. With no low scores to shoot for, I took to the pavement instead and actually worked on lowering my 3.5-mile times.

Then the weekend came and the whole world changed. Temps in the upper 60s made quick work of all the snowcover and suddenly it was time again to scramble for the good tee-times and grumble about slow play.

Wednesday, December 18, 2013

Ghetto Golf, volume X: Alley Pond Golf Center, Douglaston, Queens

Queens, New York is possibly the most wildly multi-ethnic region on the planet. You name it, they got it. An especially big and thriving enclave is its Koreatown, and not surprisingly there's a place within the community dedicated to serving the golfer in need, a funky intersection of Korean-American culture and golf obsession.

Sunday, December 15, 2013

2013 Season End Watch, continued

This was the view outside my window yesterday. I use the big lawn down there to sort of extrapolate the condition of the local golf courses--only once that lawn has cleared can I even think about playing again.

These are the excruciating, uncertain and ultimately soul-gnawing days of our golf lives. Wintry weather has precluded all actual golf activity here for the last week or so. The golf club is getting swung plenty--indoors, at a manic, obsessive-compulsive rate perhaps, but alas the sensation of club-to-ball contact is little more than a memory at this point.

Wednesday, December 11, 2013

Dark Thoughts: vol. 4: 2013 Season End Watch

We got some snow this week, and now it's being followed up by freezing temperatures for the forecastable future. Which means we are now at the point where every round, just might be the final round of the 2013 season. Now I try not to assign too much significance to the passing of Gregorian calendar-based intervals; the more salient point here is that each round played in these precarious times, just might be the last round for a really f'n long time.

I don't really feel that in my gut that it's the end, nor are there any major storm events on the horizon, but you just never know. Back at the end of '10, hard winter came early; the golf season was slammed shut right after Thanksgiving and wasn't revived until March. Really dark times.

Sunday, December 8, 2013

Ghetto Golf vol 9: Kissena Park GC, Flushing, Queens

The clubhouse--very much the standard-issue NYC parks institutional style.
We're well into December and yet, the Legitimategolf NYC Golf Tour rolls on. Believe it!

Q: What do you think of Flushing, Queens?

A: I think it's a great idea.

[From a joke book I read when I was nine.]

Kissena Park is way out east in deep Queens, just past the much more well-known Flushing Meadows Park, which is known to most people as the home of the tennis US Open, the New York Mets and the 1964 World's Fair. If you're anything like me you're probably wondering what the hell is a "kissena"?

Thursday, December 5, 2013

Legitimategolf Diaries, vol. 8 Tale of two nines

61° F in December and another insane deal for an AM tee-time at Silver Lake--you can't pass up an opportunity like that. You just can't.