Sunday, March 9, 2014

Dark Thoughts 2014: The End

A random sampling of turf near in New York City. Since the local courses aren't answering the phone when I call, this is the only indicator I have of what it must be like out on the fairway.

Now that Daylight Savings days are here, it's probably high time to put away those dark thoughts of Winter 2014.

It doesn't matter that there's still snow on the ground--DST means that spring is nearly here. Right? Which means that at some point the earth will actually thaw out completely and miracles of miracles, we can resume playing golf like it's no thing. It doesn't matter how stubborn this lingering winter is--sooner or later the warmer weather will happen, it has to. There simply is no historical precedent for it not to. In the meantime the extra daylight will be nice--I guess. It makes it a little harder to wallow in gloom and that's probably good.

If I seem weirdly rational about things it's probably because I officially lost hope a while ago. Rationality is the only thing left to cling to. It's been such a long time since golf--forty-eight days. What choice was there but to forget about this stupid thing and move on? (Michigan resident and former golfer Brian Kuehn knows what I'm talking about.) Fortunately the changing of the seasons doesn't hinge on our pathetic, meaningless hopes or fears. So in this case a loss of hope isn't really a big deal. Right?

All things considered it's been an okay winter. I worked a lot on my running and showed a little bit of progress; worked on my balance in the gym. Even though I'm no longer a literal, dictionary-definition "golfer" anymore, I can still say that I'm a chipper. I found the toughest shots on that sad fake plastic practice green at Chelsea Piers and practiced 'em, hundreds of times. Now I'm ready to take on the shortest of shortsides, with no fear.

While out running today I came across this pair of freaks doing some illegal chipping on a softball field out by the East River. The spirit lives on.

Looking ahead though, where do I go from here? How to incorporate golf back into life? It's been so long that frankly I'm unsure how it goes. You can see from that first photo that we're not quite in the clear yet, but it's close, like day-to-day close. Temperature's been above freezing for some time now which means I could very well find myself out on the course before I can even truly grasp what is happening. I'm still deep ensconced in polar living and the idea of any other lifestyle--even one that's way better--makes me a little uneasy. Now I know what halfway houses are for. Too much freedom all at once after being shackled for so long, can be a scary proposition.

When I finally do set foot on a course again let's face it, it's going to feel sort of like the first time. I will have to take things a step at a time. How's a person who's not technically a golfer supposed to make any proclamations about goals for the upcoming season? Any golf goals I would set at this stage would still be as hypothetical as, I dunno, my bass fishing goals.


  1. Bass fishing? Alright, another convert to fishing!

    I saw some grass the other day on a southern facing slope. It got me think about golf. Then I slipped on a sheet of ice and fell into a salty puddle of slush.

    1. That's what happens when you leave the house without your crampons.

  2. You officially need a winter golf retreat from now on, my friend. My time in Palm Springs in February completely changed my attitude. If winters will be like this in NYC... I'm moving. :-/

    1. But winter golf is the best golf in this goddamned city! When you can get it. More often than not NYC winters are pretty golfable and when they are, I really really really enjoy it.

      I am moving too. Eventually. One has to, or else. This place messes people up in the long term.

  3. Hope you get to have some golf in the next week, or two. It's coming.


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